booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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