He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I need moral support for this bender
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
