I'm really into asian looking animals
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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