I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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