My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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