I molested 6 butterflies tonight
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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