I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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