I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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