We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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