absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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