I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
