I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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