I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Moan for me like Helen Keller
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
