I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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