why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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