didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
