dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up under a house in Key West
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
