i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
