make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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