It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize