I got chris browned last night
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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