there was a trapeze. enough said
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
