Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Life is so much better after having sex.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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