she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
