Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I am spending my child support on dildos
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
