..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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