It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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