Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
