They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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