Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
