I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
