We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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