I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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