like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize