Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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