Heybabeimwearingurpanties
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
