He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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