That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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