he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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