distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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