OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
