Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
