the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
