So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize