he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
