Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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