did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
