o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
