you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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