She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
