Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
