That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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