she woke up with a sticky ear
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
