no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
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