Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize