community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
