I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
