another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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