carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
