I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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