Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
