He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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