what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
