STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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